Smokey
Junior Member
I hate to see you cry so I kiss away your tears
Posts: 69
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Post by Smokey on Apr 10, 2009 11:22:14 GMT -5
First off, I feel like an idiot asking this x3 but Ember, can you help me with longer/descriptive/words I have no idea of RP. Lol. I just want my RPs a bit more descriptive, and I know you are. >:3 Spark~ HELP ME USING BIGGER WORDS! Thank-you *embaressed*  |
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Post by Tison (ƒαlcσn) on Apr 10, 2009 13:24:08 GMT -5
There's no reason to be embarrased!
I had to ask for some RP tutoring not so long ago myself.
First off, let's see...
Spend no more than you would on a normal post,
And whip up a starting post for me to look at.
From there I'll analyze it, give you some pointers,
And lots of long, big and descriptive words and phrases!
Fun!
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Smokey
Junior Member
I hate to see you cry so I kiss away your tears
Posts: 69
|
Post by Smokey on Apr 10, 2009 14:28:16 GMT -5
Mkay Here we go~ The she-cat padded through the tall trees, thick canopies shielding the sunlight. It was awfully dark and quiet. She decided to call out to see if there would be any response in this mysterious place. "Hello? Is anyone here?" she mewed, a bit terrified. It echoed. But it echoed something different. "Yes dear Fruitfur?" the voice answered tauntingly. "W-who's there and how do you know my name?" she stuttered, fear shaking her voice. |
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Post by Tison (ƒαlcσn) on Apr 11, 2009 15:26:43 GMT -5
All righty then.
Hm, first of all, you're using small, frank words. You need to be more descriptive.
One idea might be instead of saying something like - "It was awfully dark and quiet",
you could say, "Sinister blackness enfolded the (area), and an unnerving silence gripping the she-cat with deadly claws of dread." or something like that. You may want to treat everything (well not exactly everything) like it's alive... it takes getting used to.
May I recommend taking a simple phrase, and trying to add as many words or phrases as you can to it - but still have the original meaning?
As for the length...
Use all seven senses of writing. That is,
What your character...
Feels, hears, sees, smells, tastes (if applicable to the subject),
and of course, use your character's emotions, and foreshadowing.
Foreshadowing is what I did with the dread.
The cat was uneasy about the area for some reason, which can be referred to as the sixth sense or something.
I always call it the seventh sense, because of emotion.
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